12 November 2009 10:23 PM

It’s a rainy Thursday night (just like the rainy Tuesday and Wednesday nights before it.. I didn’t expect anything different from fall in London and I really don’t mind it at all) and I’ve decided to stay in and get all my school assignments in order and catch up on some blogging and reading.

As of today, I have one more month left in London. I’m flying back to New York on December 12 and spending a few weeks at home in Jersey before heading to Boston on January 12 for my last semester at BU. I can’t sugarcoat it, the idea of leaving the UK really, genuinely upsets me. There are so many things that I miss about Jersey, NYC and Boston, of course.. people, things, places, experiences. I’m looking forward to going home for the holidays and seeing everyone I love.. but something about being in London makes me so unconditionally happy. I think I wouldn’t have as much of a problem with leaving if I knew that I’d be back here at some point in the next few years- but I don’t.

Such is life, I guess.. but I’m going to put it out there right now- I would seriously consider living and working here at some point in the future. We’ll see what happens.

Being here has really put my life into perspective for me: I’m really fortunate. Fortunate, blessed, lucky, spoiled.. whatever you want to call it. I’ve always known it, to an extent, but being here has made it even more obvious to me. I’m not saying that I’m the wealthiest or the smartest or the prettiest, but I do alright. And beyond all that superficial crap, I also have great friends that I love and trust from several different periods in my life and a family that’s there for me as a constant support system (emotionally and financially). I’ve had the opportunity to go to some great schools, live in a nice home and travel to different countries. I was walking around St. James’s Park something like two weeks ago and had to call my mother out of the blue and thank her for the chance to be here.. I seriously feel know that I don’t deserve the opportunities that I get any more than any other person and I pretty much always question why I often seem to get what I want (when it comes to the big stuff, anyway).

I’ve done a lot of random volunteer work in my life and I’m big on charities and trying to stay aware of conflicts that affect people all over the world and what could be done to help, but I seriously hope that someday I can do something bigger and greater to help people and give back for all the awesome stuff I’ve been able to do.

I feel like everything I’ve just written sounds cheesy and there are tons of other people in my position who think this way (or at least I hope there are), but it’s genuinely what’s been on my mind recently and I needed to put it out there.